• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

planet leah *news

One journalist-turned-TV-producer's look outside her professional head. Coming soon to Comedy Central and Adult Swim, just kidding.

About planet leah *news

One journalist-turned-TV-producer's look outside her professional head, coming soon to Comedy Central and Adult Swim, just kidding.
  • Blog
  • Published Writing

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt To Put Own Kids Up For Adoption

July 9, 2019

I was looking through some old emails and found this gem I wrote in 2009 when I was trying to get a job at The Onion. Pretty good if I do say so myself!

“Afraid that a passion for adopting and rearing lots of children is fueling the psychosis of people like Octomom Nadya Suleman, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have decided to put their six children up for adoption. ‘You try to do a good thing to help the children of the world, and then some crazy bitch goes and ruins it all,’ Jolie says. Pitt and Jolie have three adopted children — Maddox Chivan, Zahara Marley and Pax Thien; and have three biological children — Shiloh Nouvel, and the twins Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. ‘Maybe this will set an example that it is better to give than to receive,’ Pitt says. Jolie adds: ‘By the way — tell that loony bitch that she’ll never look as good as me.’”

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Elsewhere on the Blog

Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pepperoni Pizza Pretzels…

...and gave them to me. In my daydream. Thanks PP … [Read More...] about Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pepperoni Pizza Pretzels…

Your Official Laugh of the Day

… [Read More...] about Your Official Laugh of the Day

Evolution Vs Creation Debate, Courtesy Of A T-Rex And Christian Fish

So my friend Ian, a Six Flags Great America … [Read More...] about Evolution Vs Creation Debate, Courtesy Of A T-Rex And Christian Fish

My Gramma’s Hand Towel

I wrote that title and it almost sounded like I … [Read More...] about My Gramma’s Hand Towel

DEADLINE, I HAVE BEEN ON…

If anyone out there in the blogosphere actually … [Read More...] about DEADLINE, I HAVE BEEN ON…

Subscribe

Get the latest from planet leah *news

Archives

More Blogs

Evolution Vs Creation Debate, Courtesy Of A T-Rex And Christian Fish

So my friend Ian, a Six Flags Great America … [Read More...] about Evolution Vs Creation Debate, Courtesy Of A T-Rex And Christian Fish

The Pinnacle of Child Safety Contraptions

I was psyched that the Beverly Center bathrooms … [Read More...] about The Pinnacle of Child Safety Contraptions

My New Random Pink Lady Friend 

I've been trying to look "nice" lately — not … [Read More...] about My New Random Pink Lady Friend 

Copyright © 2022 planet leah *news · Site Designed by Digital Executrix