I recently moved back to the Humboldt Park neighborhood of Chicago, where my Grampa grew up, where my grandparents had their first date, where my dad and uncles were born and grew up, and where I also lived for a number of years before moving to Los Angeles and getting into the TV world. Our family house at 1109 N Richmond Street is now owned by the nearby hospital, my grandparents are gone … [Read more...] about Tied Together At The Phone
All I can think about is wearing these into a 7-11, and then proceeding to pour scalding hot coffee all over my feet. Lawsuit, anyone? My defense: "It wasn't on purpose, I obviously LOVE 7-11, look — I'm wearing their Crocs!" … [Read more...] about 7-11 Crocs… This Is Not A Joke.
I wrote that title and it almost sounded like I was going to write, "My Gramma's Hand Maiden," nope, I meant "My Gramma's Hand Towel," nothing sexual here, move along. It's one of the many everyday items I saved after she died in January — foreshadowing what kind of year 2020 was going to be. Anyways, I put it aside, because, well, it still smelled of her in a way, smelled of the old house. I … [Read more...] about My Gramma’s Hand Towel
After I wrote that headline, it doesn't actually seem that obscene, I mean cheese and beer, right — except for the fact that milk is supposed to add like a creaminess while beer would probably counteract with the cheese-packet powder like a science-project volcano eruption. Anyways! I'd been craving mac and cheese, so I started boiling the six cups of water — is it just me or does SIX CUPS of … [Read more...] about Making Macaroni And Cheese With Beer Instead Of Milk?
I was looking through some old emails and found this gem I wrote in 2009 when I was trying to get a job at The Onion. Pretty good if I do say so myself! "Afraid that a passion for adopting and rearing lots of children is fueling the psychosis of people like Octomom Nadya Suleman, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have decided to put their six children up for adoption. 'You try to do a good thing … [Read more...] about Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt To Put Own Kids Up For Adoption