Don't get me wrong, I love me some Jamba, but the "Cold Buster" smoothie has orange sherbet in it. Don't get me wrong, I also love me some orange sherbet, but it's basically sugar. Sugar weakens the immune system. Thus drinking the Cold Buster ain’t gonna bust nothing but…well, it’s not gonna get rid of my cold okay? It would be like saying, “Oh here's this sleeping pill laced with speed.” Just … [Read more...] about Jamba Juice’s Sick Joke
A Gift for Gaga-ween
When I say "a gift for Gaga-ween" I don't mean a gift you should bring to a Lady Gaga and Ween collaboration, though a "Gaga-Ween" show could be rad. Maybe Dean and Gene would break out into a version of "Voodoo Lady"—"Voodoo Lady Gaga." No, the Gaga-ween gift I'm talking about is this Halloween frame I saw at Target. Since Lady Gaga calls her die-hard followers her "little monsters" I … [Read more...] about A Gift for Gaga-ween
I Never Knew Camilla Ha Rocked the Stage Until Saturday, and Now She’s Leaving
Crazy how you see some people around for years, have some drunken and sober exchanges, but it never comes up that they do really cool shit. And when you finally see it, they're leaving town. When I heard that Camilla Ha was going to have a show at Reversible Eye in Humboldt Park, I thought it would be just visual art, maybe some fashion, I knew she was a rad stylist. I didn't realize she … [Read more...] about I Never Knew Camilla Ha Rocked the Stage Until Saturday, and Now She’s Leaving
Dear Toucan Ride Thing, I Love You
Dear Toucan Ride Thing at Humboldt Park Playground: I don't see you around much anymore. When I was a kid, we would fight over who got to ride you, even though you didn't really move. But you looked like the bird on the Fruit Loops box and that's all that mattered. Mm, fruity milk. Much better than nasty Cheerios milk. You're fading away now, an endangered species. At least some kids will … [Read more...] about Dear Toucan Ride Thing, I Love You
“Blago Blago: One Island, One Man”
So Blagojevich was convicted on one of 24 counts of being a douchebag. And now he shall achieve ultimate celebrity! He'll film a reality series from his own jail-cell island. The island will be called Blago Blago. Just like Bora Bora. And Tora Tora will perform Wild America as Blago's hair whips in the tropical winds... Coming soon to Bravo. … [Read more...] about “Blago Blago: One Island, One Man”